The Hacienda: How Not to Run a Nightclub

Early in this book, Peter Hook estimates that for every person who went through the doors of the Hacienda during its 15 year lifetime, the owners lost £10. This should give you an idea of the scale of anecdote to expect in this, his memoirs of the Hacienda.

How they managed to keep the club going is beyond me (and Hooky). Staff regularly took home crates of beer as freebies. Bands, and later DJ’s were paid huge amounts of money for tiny gigs, and gangsters spent years trying to take over the club. There’s one instance when they book a secret gig for a band, but then keep it too secret, only to find 8 people show up. When the gangsters arrive, there’s a real sense of danger that seems to haunt the rest of the book. Attempts to scare them off end up escalating the violence, and at one point anyone going to the club would need to be aware which gangs operated in which corners, and to stay away.

What they lost in money, though, they more than made up for with partying. This book is crammed with anecdotes that had me in fits of laughter - even when reading it on the tube. There is the time when New Order turn up to a gig supporting the Pogues. They walk past the Pogues dressing room, spy a huge buffet and crates of beer, and get really excited. The joy soon turns sour when they go to their own dressing room, and find… a brown donkey. The solution is obvious: Set the donkey on the buffet and steal the booze.

The Hacienda also serves as an important cultural artefact. It helped create the DJ culure that was huge in the 90’s, and was important in popularising acid house. When ecstasy comes along, New Order are in Ibiza. Within a month they’ve trashed 11 hire cars. The experience helps to create the second summer of love in the late 80’s, and was the inspiration of much of the successful music later on.

Even if you aren’t familiar with New Order, the book does a fantastic job of focusing on the nightclub, so you don’t feel lost. The story of the band provides a backdrop to the happenings of the club, and Peter Hook’s wealth of stories makes for excellent narration.
Sadly for the kids of my generation, we’ll never get to go to the Hac. It shut down in 1997, and is now a block of upmarket apartments. This saddens me greatly, because when I was finished with the book, all I wanted to do was break out some glowsticks and throw some shapes.